What second life is all about

Wanking.

Yes, there are virtually (pun intended) countless things to do in SL. But only a few people actually do them. There are so many nice places to visit. And they are empty for the most part. There is only one activity that happens round the clock: wanking.

Let me make something absolutely clear: in SL you cannot have sex. Fundamentally, sex involves physical contact between two living organisms. In SL, people are in physical contact with their computers, not with each other. They are also in contact with their private parts. Therefore the closest word to describe what they are doing is wanking.

It is unfortunate that SL has been reduced to an online platform that facilitates the wanking needs of its members. It is also unfortunate that so many people share the same miserable view about what a second life should be like:

1. Blue, grey or silver eyes

2. Macho/femme fatale looking avatar

3. Exposed genitals. Oversized boobs and cocks are the norm.

4. Revoltingly unpleasant behaviour

Of course there are many variations even within this theme:

I. The newcomers that haven’t figured out how things work yet. As a result they are seen roaming the virtual bordellos with bits of clothing still attached to their avatar that is usually complemented by a hideous freebie penis. Some of them pretend to be desperate, other in awe but many have an appalling “get naked, bend over and let me, the pro, plow you”. Wow, take it easy!

II. The newcomers that spend real money. Their first purchase? Genitals.

III. The “newcomers” that aren’t really new to SL. These people have expensive looking avatars and are only a week or so old (sometimes even only a few hours old). Probably cocked up their previous sl character and decided to come back for another round. Unfortunately for them, it’s not their avatar’s fault that they are ridiculed again. It’s the character they put into their virtual self.

People that fall into the above categories often times will drop out of SL after a few weeks or months. Some don’t and are therefore entitled to their own category:

IV. The veteran wankers. These people just can’t stop.

Unfortunately, Second Life is just another example of how people misuse the marvels of technology.

Newbie wankers

Here’s what people do as soon as their given a chance for a second life: they get naked, stick a hideous oversized plonker to their overall ugly looking avatar, and then wonder around asking for sex (i.e. they are horny and want to fap).

odinfrank  //  DOB: July 15, 2013  //  my.secondlife.com/odinfrank

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agdem  //  May 25, 2013  //  my.secondlife.com/agdem

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What a pillock! He attached the boxed penis to his hideous avatar.

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After he got it right, it was time to test it. On a dummy of course.

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zekezach  //  DOB: June 05, 2013  //  my.secondlife.com/zekezach

No comments…

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Of course older wankers aren’t doing any better either.

caballero  //  DOB: November 19, 2010  //  my.secondlife.com/caballero

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Waiting to get plowed…

And of course, two massive wankers:

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mahmoudnageb2 (of 3) is feeling the pain.

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Markten10 trying different approaches.

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Markten10 air-humping (aka fapping in RL)